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| 10:21am 23/04/2004 |
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Lisa Gerken
Mr. Gesler
Senior Composition
April 23, 2004
Homosexuals: Should they be allowed to adopt?
Most couples dream of settling down one day. Starting a family, having children of their own, and becoming mother and father, and of course this is thought nothing of because it is what couples do. It does not matter if this husband and wife eventually decide on a divorce leaving their children with two separate families; it does not matter if the parents are never home to take care of their children; it does not even matter if they physically or verbally abuse their children. To society, as long as these parents are heterosexual, they can have as many children as they please. However, if a homosexual couple wants children, then everything matters and everyone is involved. Our society perceives homosexuals as an embarrassment, an abnormal lifestyle, and unfit to raise children, but who is to say they won't love their children just as much, if not more than any heterosexual couple? Any couple should be allowed to adopt or raise a child if they can provide all needs along with love, no matter what their sexual orientation may be. So in order to decide who is more qualified to raise children key factors distinguish the good and the bad about both heterosexual and homosexual couples. This includes state laws and pros and cons of both sexual orientation.
Not every state in the United States is delighted about homosexuals being allowed to have children and raise them in the middle of their lifestyle. And with that, many homosexual couples are going through court procedures trying to win the right to have a child. Most states won't allow homosexuals to marry let alone have children. The few
states that allow the adoptions are mainly larger in size, more populated, and less religious and closely bonded as small towns. There is no set rule that says parenting of a homosexual is illegal or illegal; however the states choose which position they take. And for the states that won't allow it, their reasons include homosexuality as being an embarrassment to society, a foolish choice, and an unfit environment for children or anyone to be around. But for the gay couples that do not have children, they are lucky to have the rights they possess.
There are only 11% (Mason, p. 2) living in the United States today, and the 28% (Homelessness: Programs and the People They Serve, p. 1) of homeless children. All of these kids are either up for adoption or living on the street with no home or parents of their own. And while these children haven't a family, there are gay couples that would give anything just to adopt one of these children. Yet certain states would rather see these children grow up at an adoption agency than see them placed in the family of a gay couple that would love this child more than anything. So why is it up to the state to decide if a child should be adopted based on an acquiring parents sexual orientation? If states are worried about these children, their safety, and how they will be affected, then one of the most important reasons should be taken into consideration, most of the couples that choose adoption, have no other choice meaning they cannot have children or they want to give one of the unlucky kids a family to love. Couples don't adopt with bad intentions in mind. So these homosexual parents just want a child to love.
The number one thought by most people is probably what emotional and psychological damage will a child have if raised by a gay parent and won't this affect the child as he grows up? No, the child will end up just the same as any child raised with a heterosexual parent. .There is no evidence of any kind that demonstrates that living with a
homosexual parent has any significant negative effects on children. In fact it appears that gay parents. (Cameron, p. 2) The people that come up with the idea that they will gain these wrong lifestyles assume that, just like genetics, and learning from what is seen that is a false statement it's ok for homosexual couples to raise children because they won't cause the child's emotional development to suffer. (Cameron, p.1 )
So being it is ok for these gay couples to raise children knowing their children won't grow up with emotional damage, there are questions of how they get children. Of course being gay, the couple cannot have the children themselves but they can have them through artificial insemination. This process involves the sperm of one of the couples or a friend to be placed inside a female, so part of the homosexual couple make up their child. There is also adoption, even though some states may not allow it, homosexuals go through adopting a family-less child and giving it a place inside their family. And then there are children from previous heterosexual couples that end up in the middle of the cases. And so the couples win custody of the child. (Homosexual Parents: All in the Family, p. 1)
Heterosexual couples are typically considered better parents, mainly being it is normal, but there are other reasons why heterosexual couples are best suited for raising a child. When a child is raised by a mother and father, he or she obtains traits from both parents that are important in growing up. Also the child won't suffer from possible emotional or psychological damage of being raised in an un-normal family. A heterosexual couple has more benefits and rights then a homosexual couple that can affect their children. (Craven, p. 3) And with the world today, people talk and play a large part on someone's emotional status, but with heterosexual parents the child is less likely to become a victim of taunting.
Although heterosexual couples are great parents they do have their faults in raising a child. Any heterosexual couple can have a child from unprotected sex whether they want to or not. This doesn't mean all heterosexual couples are bad for raising children, but they are the ones responsible for the many pregnancies in the world. Some children are conceived by accident and their parents aren't emotionally or financially stable to raise them. Even if the child is planned, not every heterosexual couple is ready to commit to raising a child for the next eighteen years. Some couples cannot take care of themselves because of emotional problems that get in the way and some don't have the money to pay for one more mouth to feed and one more back to dress, etc. So how is the child supposed to grow up in these conditions? Normally they don't make it through life without permanent problems, which are caused by their parents. So heterosexual couples aren't always the best when it comes to having children.
So, the large controversy is about homosexuals and whether they make great parents or not. Well they are more effective in raising children in certain areas. No one has to worry about a homosexual couple having a child by mistake or from unprotected sex since they cannot conceive children anyway. Instead, a homosexual couple can only have a child by choice. They have to make the decision on whether they want to and are able to support the child. A homosexual couple is also likely to love their child more than anything because of the opportunity given to adopt. Not every state allows same-sex adoptions and for those that do, the couples are thankful and prove to love their child. Evidence also proves that homosexual parents can be as effective and even more so than heterosexual couples in raising a child. .Some research suggests that lesbian mothers have parenting skills that are equivalent to or better than those of heterosexual parents. (Cameron, p. 2)
And just like heterosexual couples, homosexual couples also have their negative points for raising children. Growing up with homosexual parents affects a child's life, mainly because this lifestyle in unheard of and not normal. The child may be teased by other people in their surroundings based on the parents they have and even though it's not proven to be true. Some children may develop emotional problems because of this situation. The absence of a mother and father can also affect how a child becomes growing up. They won't receive traits from both sexes of a heterosexual couple. The child will only receive what their two mothers or two fathers can give, but not both. There are also more cases of sexual relationships with children involving homosexual parents. Some homosexual parents may see adopting a child as an opportunity for another sex partner, which the child should not have to go through. (Cameron, p. 3) Then there are the state laws against homosexuals adopting children. Some states may allow homosexuals this right, but many others do not approve of it. So a child shouldn't be put in the middle of their parents problems of whether they should be allowed to adopt or denied the right.
So as long as state laws deny homosexuals the right to adopt, children will still be homeless with no family at all. Whether the couple that decided to adopt them is gay or straight, their sexual orientation should not be the deciding factor. Things that matter should decide, like if they will love the child and will they provide a financial and strong emotional environment. And if laws won't allow this because they don't approve of homosexuals and their choices then the states should take into consideration that not all heterosexual couples are fit for raising a child. Both homosexual and heterosexual couples have certain qualities about them that make them fit for raising a child and they also have qualities that don't make them seem to be the best for a child, but they still should be allowed to adopt children based on if they make good parents.
Works Cited
Shapiro, Joseph P. Kids with gay parents: as lawmakers battle gay marriages, a look at how the children fare. U. S. News & World Report. 16 Sept. 1996. 1-5
Cameron, Paul; Cameron, Kirk. Homosexual Parents. Adolesence. Winter 1996. 1-10
Homosexual Parents: all in the family. (Emotional development of children of homosexual parents.) Science News. 21 Jan. 1995. 1-2
Cameron, Paul. "New Study suggests risks linked to gay foster parenting. (Fair comment.)" Insight on the News. 24 Dec. 2002. 1-5
Craven, Scott. Unable to marry, Gay couples contrive legalities that bind. Arizona Republic. 24 Mar. 2004. 1-5
Mason, Margie. "Census figures on same-sex couples." Speakout.com 8 Aug. 2001. 1-2
"An overview of homeless clients." Huduser.org. 1-5 |
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(2 shot me | Bang Bang) |
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| 12:25pm 21/04/2004 |
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mood:  confused
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Last night I decided to go to Wayne's again. We went to Target to get some necessities, Taco Bell, and then gas. And while I was parking Ryan called. I answered and was so delighted yet at the same time I was like ehh being my boyfriend is sitting right beside me and the boy I like is talking to me on the phone. I couldn't just tell him to call back later, so I talked and he was laughing at me because I couldn't multi-task at the gas pump. Friday we have a date at the dry cleaners :]...so 20 minutes later I get off and look at Wayne and he's all serious and pissed. I ask if he's mad and he says yeah. So I get upset because I can't seem to do anything right. we go back to his place, he's now in a better mood, we go to the hot tub and swimming pool for a bit, then go back up and watch a porn, ha.
I fucking hate this...
I love Wayne but I've liked Ryan before I even knew Wayne. So what do I do? |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| Where the party's at |
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| 12:38am 18/04/2004 |
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Went to Starbucks
Played card games
Met Brooke, Todd, and Bryan at Applebees
Watched his friend puke all over the floor, hah
Had fun at Jack in the Crack
Went to the park
Played castles and dragons
Peed behind a bush, and pissed on myself
Played rape
Broke my watch
Did cartwheels in the street
Now time to bathe myself...
Goodnight |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| Chop chop |
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| 09:03am 16/04/2004 |
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mood:  okay
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Last night Mrs. Shephard gives me a $5 tip
Ryan Owen comes in and gives me a burned cd of End This Day and his email
Mr. Johnson comes in
then Mr. Taylor
...my night is just perfect!
I buy hair dye and bleach
My hair is now black with a bleached patch in the back
and by the way, it smells incredible! |
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(3 shot me | Bang Bang) |
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| 10:42am 15/04/2004 |
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I had a very nice night.
I went over to Wayne's and surprized him.
I fixed his myspace profile.
We lied in his bed and fell asleep with his arms around me.
I woke up at 6:15 and then had to come home to get ready for school.
I finally got some sleep! |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| 09:08am 14/04/2004 |
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Apparently you're not really allowed to write anything you want to in lj.
Yeah well I don't give a shit what the rules are, if you get on my fucking nerves I shall vent. |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| Listen up bitch |
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| 08:02pm 13/04/2004 |
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mood:  enraged
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Ok well I'm kicking my ass now for getting Justine a job.
BIG FUCKING MISTAKE
where to start...
1-She doesn't do shit, sitting on the counter chewing her ice and checking one article of clothing is all you will get out of her. But I suppose I am the lazy one being I check orders from 10-30 pieces and mark them in in the time she checks one little bag of 5 pieces, but I don't help every customer that walks in that door. Well I guess that's how it goes when you work there for 8 months, and have to help every customer that walks in for about 2 hours, while people are going on breaks and to the bank. At least when you're working, we're there for when it gets busy.
2-She thinks work is a place to for her friends to come hang out. It's not a problem when friends come in to say hi...but 3 times now and she's only been working 9 days. Yeah, that's not going to happen anymore.
3-She brings the god damn problem to work. You leave personal shit out of work...you don't see me throwing clothes around, running into people, raising my voice, or getting testy with customers because of something non-related to them.
I'm not the only one that thinks this way...yeah that's right, Laura and Edith think you're lazy too, and are always telling me to let you know you need to work but being the nice person I was, I couldn't be rude because I didn't want you to get upset with me, but now I really don't give a shit how you feel. Yeah and Allen will know that you left tonight without permission, I don't give a shit if Bear was waiting outside for you and you were in a hurry to get on with your personal life, you were at work and you did not even ask if it was ok to leave, we could have had stuff to do but you wouldn't have known since you wouldn't talk.
Oh but I'm not finished, might as well get all of my feelings out now!
So earlier I got fed up with you because you seem to steal my fucking friends, but I said hey let's start fresh...well you just do it again.
-Brian (even though you knew who he was, you didn't talk to him and it was only through me)
-Colin (I introduced you to him too.)
-Ryan Nelson (you thought he was cute, and you had seen him before but never talked to him and then that one night at Starbucks/IHOP I was talking to him and you were all "oh you totally ditched me...oh hi I'm justine" funny how every time you mention Ryan you ask me if I know who he is.
-Nikki (Ok this one I find humorous...you see her on myspace and add her as a friend, but wait a sec you never even talk to her at school or anywhere else. So how is she your friend?)
-Brooke (You've met her twice now, and you ask her to put her # on your hand, and tell her she has to go to the show with you, god we just move from friend to friend don't we?)
I just know once Ryan Owen comes in you'll introduce yourself and make him your "friend" too.
So this leads me to my theory...
You have a popularity issue. Everyone that is emo/hxc/indie, etc. has to become a friend of yours. Why, because you are trying to uphold an image. That's why everyone on your myspace profile looks the same. That's why you added Nikki, and want to hang out with Brooke. That's also why you did smoke or still do...because smoking is the indie thing to do, hah and I still remember you writing in lj "i'm craving a cigarette" and this was what, after 5...boy you get additcted quick! Oh and why is it you don't like Brian anymore? What was it you told Monty, because you realized he wasn't cool? Well if that isn't shallow enough. And for those that only know Justine as the "indie girl" only a few months ago when I first met her, she was a goody-goody mormon hanging with the goody-goody friends, but I guess she found her true inner self.
And another thing, all anyone ever hears is "aww poor me, everyone breaks my heart. I'm never good enough for anyone, blah blah blah" Well did you ever think that it's your own fucking fault? Here you meet Andrew and are already in love within a day, then it's on to Bear right after the day you break up...I really don't see how any of your relationships last if you don't even get to know them first.
I expect you to bitch right back at me, but hah you have to work with me tomorrow so I guess you better keep it clean. And work isn't the place to bring it, so you're fucked stupid cunt! |
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(12 shot me | Bang Bang) |
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| 09:13am 13/04/2004 |
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mood:  sleepy
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Ha...things happen, and now I want to kill someone. No sympathy whatsoever watching them die!
Yesterday Brooke came in with her cds.
She let me borrow some.
Wayne also downloaded some for me.
So now I have:
-The Agony Scene
-Beloved
-Bleeding Through
-Between the Buried and Me
-Converge
-Fall With Me
-Give Up the Ghost
-Give Up the Ghost
-Luti-Kriss
-Underoath
and one more I can't remember.
Spent the night at Wayne's, which I should not have because I'm TIRED plus I missed saying goodbye to my uncle. |
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(1 shot me | Bang Bang) |
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| Happy Easter sluts! |
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| 12:04am 12/04/2004 |
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Wayne spent the night.
woke up early
made cinnamon rolls :]
dyed easter eggs
watched Agent Cody Banks...but then I fell asleep on his chest.
got ready
went to mom and pop's for lunch/dinner
rode bikes to Brian's
played with the horses and got 2 oranges
left my cousin at the park and took my sister home, hah cunt
came back to my house
played a fun game
drove to Tempe
played on the computer
then came home.
Uh |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| Ooh yeah |
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| 10:13am 09/04/2004 |
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mood:  ecstatic
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My Uncle Keith is coming today!!!!
Oh he is the freakin' best. But uhh, he's bringing my obnoxious cousin along with. I'm so happy. It's been 3 years. |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| 11:36pm 04/04/2004 |
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Today I broke a bottle of blue nail polish and it went all over the carpet.
AHHH, rush for remover, scrub scrub scrub...then on with the dish soap and it's hardly noticeable.
But man, I thought I would die. |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| 12:52am 04/04/2004 |
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work...finally got off in the afternoon
went to Wayne's
toured my new house
walked to Target
looked at the Barbies :]
went to Sally's and talked to the cool girl that works there
ate Del Taco for the 1st time in my life
walked home
went to Starbuck's
played card games
went to Walmarts
figured out how to put my futon together correctly
sat on the floor looking through magazines
drove home
now we're going to fix my futon and play!
Goodnight. |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| 10:34pm 31/03/2004 |
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Wayne got a picture phone, oh how fun!!!
hah and Wayne just spilt water on me and I spit it all over him! jackass |
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(3 shot me | Bang Bang) |
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| 10:23am 30/03/2004 |
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I bought a futon yesterday!!!
Put it together, went to work, was busy as fuck...
got out 1.5 hours later. Some stupid fucking bitch shows up 30 minutes after we close, not 5 minutes, BUT 30! She's all "PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME IN! I NEED MY CLOTHES, MY HUSBAND IS GOING ON A TRIP TOMORROW MORNING AND HE HAS TO HAVE THEM, OH PLEASE COME ON, OHHHH" and I'm just like "WE'RE FUCKING CLOSED BITCH, SHED SOME GOD DAMN TEARS IF IT'S THAT IM-POR-TAN-TE" So of course everyone else is weak, and they open the door for her.
Then I go home, talk to my sex muffin, get Taco Bell!!! Fall asleep, oh and today I get cable, ahhhhhh!!!!!!!! |
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(1 shot me | Bang Bang) |
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| 08:48am 29/03/2004 |
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mood:  cold
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the fan is blowing on me and I am cold.
the teacher turned it back on. |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| 04:12pm 28/03/2004 |
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I got the room in the house on Val Vista and Warner!!!
I moved my crap out of Laura's and into my new place...
and of course Jason made me feel like shit, because Laura's going to be pissed.
But oh, I'm excited...no more aj! |
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(6 shot me | Bang Bang) |
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| I'm watching Flubber on Disney Channel |
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| 10:34pm 26/03/2004 |
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mood: hopeful
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So tomorrow I go fill out a form for Ken and if I'm the luckiest son of a bitch I get the room at his house, which means I can move out of Laura's house...
Oh please oh please oh please oh please!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and today Ryan Ownen came in, holy shit that made my day! We so better hang out tomorrow. |
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(Bang Bang) |
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| 10:50am 24/03/2004 |
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I want:
an English bulldog named ottecar
a Pug named Pugsley
a Canon PowerShot S400 4.0MP digital camera
a 1 bedroom apartment, for $250/month
some more clothes from Forever 21
a new job at Starbucks working 40+ hrs/week
a Dimension 4600 Desktop
a Kyocera KX414 cell phone
♥
♥
♥
♥
♥
The end. |
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(2 shot me | Bang Bang) |
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| 10:49am 24/03/2004 |
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I went to see my dad.
I got a hug, that was nice.
AND he said he'd loan me money so I can move into an aprtment, without a girl I work with. Bad idea.
She thinks she can charge me the same amount of rent as her and her brother pay, yet whenever she feels like it, she can come spend the night and make me sleep on the couch. NOT FUCKING HAPPENING |
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(1 shot me | Bang Bang) |
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